The calling of the roll.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Present.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Here.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yo.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yes.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hello.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yep.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hi.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Adsum.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Here, ma’am.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Right!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hep!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Ho!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hi-ya!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hoopsie!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Shtoops.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yessum.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Being present, ma’am.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Psych.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Ha.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yerp.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yeah.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yiyiyi!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Geronimo!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Gravy.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Wotcher.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Huh.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hmhm.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Sì!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Allo.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hey.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hey hey.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hey hey hey!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Hay. [sniggers]
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Righto.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: You bet.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Yes, ma’am.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Ya’ram.
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Woohoo!
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: What?
Kerry: Kevin?
Kevin: Who?
Kerry: Keith?
Kevin: [lets rip a loud fart]
Part 2.
Bacon, Brennan, Brown, Burke, Byrne, Campbell, Clarke, Collins, Connolly, Daly, Doyle, Dunne, Egan, Fitzgerald, Gallagher, Hughes, Johnson, Kelly, Kennedy, Lynch, McCarthy, McLoughlin, Moore, Murphy, Murray, O’Brien, O’Carroll, O’Connell, O’Connor, O’Doherty, O’Farrell, O’Neill, O’Reilly, O’Sullivan, Quinn, Ryan, Spacey, Smith, Walsh, Wilson [as one]:
Part 3.
Kerry, remembered.
You picked me up from school and peeled out of the lot and that fat bastard of an assistant principal chasing us threatening to call the cops. And we laughed and laughed and thought we’d nearly die. And driving into Ramsey you ran all the lights and past the police station we were very scared and you pegged it at 30 and the cars were honking and trying to pass us but we didn’t care a hoot. Drove all the way upstate and dead north on the thruway and slowly slowly the cars disappeared and it was just us and I pushed the seat all the way back and fell asleep with your hand clasped tight in mine. I woke up and didn’t know where I was. I was alone in the car in a parking lot and it was very cold. The motor was off and the keys were gone and I realized that I was locked in. There were some kind of crazy child locks on my door and I couldn’t open it from the inside and so I just sat there and tried to figure out where we were but I couldn’t see any signs. Just the highway behind me and the very occasional pair of headlights zipping along. I started to shiver and my teeth were chattering and then the car door opened and there you were with Roy Rogers and I was so glad to see you. Afterwards we ate the sandwiches, which were still sort of warm, and the cold french fries, which I always loved, ate them in great handfuls and the salt burned my fingers where the cold had split them.
Part 4.
A song!
Kevin’s knives slice nice snipe twice,
Me oh my but what a spice!
And filigreed so daintily
With lettuce leaves and potpourri,
Oh, Kevin, what a dish!
Nor fowl, beast nor fish!
Oh, Kevin, what a dish…
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