Untimely #13 - Picking up pieces.

1a. What might Inclusion mean?

            For you, back in the early seventies, it meant civil rights. To me, at first, it was supposed to be the dawn of acceptance. The great dream. But when I saw you, I knew that all I needed was to be included by you. In your life.

1b. What might inclusion mesh?

            It was supposed to be You and Me!

Men and Women Everywhere!

Kerry and Kevin…

the world.

1c. Roll Call.

            We stood up to be counted. You were Kerry. I was Kevin. It felt like love.

2a. How can we break down social barriers?

            We had to understand each other. To know; intimately. It’s the only way.

2b. How can we breakfast down social barriers?

            “I want to move in with you. I’ll make you breakfast everyday. You can get a job. I get it. It’s fine.”

2c. So many Kevins. But who the fuck is Keith?

            I can be supportive. I can be a homemaker. I can be the breadwinner. I can stand by your side and march with you. Down the aisle if you’d let me. But I can understand that you don’t want to be my property. And I can completely see why you should want multiple sexual partners. It’s empowering. I can deal with it.

3a. What might inhibit inclusion?

            Perceived external threats. The fear of being marginalised. Devaluation. Changes for the worse.

3b. What might insert inclusion?

            Force.

My way into your heart. Someday.

My fist down Keith’s throat. Too literal.

3c. Away from Kerry.

            Keith died. I ran. Now I hide – nowhere in particular. I drive. I mostly live in my car. I watched you. I still watch. But so do the police, from time to time. Just in case.

4a. How does your practise enhance social inclusion?

I want everyone to see us, and in us recognise the perfect model of happiness,

of truth, of acceptance. We will become the ideal.

4b. How does your practise ensnare social inclusion?

            People can be fooled into anything. Even you. I know they’ve fooled you into thinking I’m a bad guy. But they’ll see. I’ll get you.

4c. A song.

            We’ll be so perfect they’ll put us on television. We’ll be sent over to America; big movie stars. Bob Dylan will write a song about us. I promise.

UNTIMELY #13 – Kerry & Kevin in Four Parts

Part 1.

The calling of the roll.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Present.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Here.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yo.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yes.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hello.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yep.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hi.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Adsum.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Here, ma’am.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Right!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hep!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Ho!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hi-ya!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hoopsie!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Shtoops.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yessum.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Being present, ma’am.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Psych.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Ha.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yerp.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yeah.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yiyiyi!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Geronimo!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Gravy.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Wotcher.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Huh.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hmhm.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Sì!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Allo.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hey.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hey hey.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hey hey hey!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Hay. [sniggers]

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Righto.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: You bet.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Yes, ma’am.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Ya’ram.

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Woohoo!

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: What?

Kerry: Kevin?

Kevin: Who?

Kerry: Keith?

Kevin: [lets rip a loud fart]

Part 2.

Bacon, Brennan, Brown, Burke, Byrne, Campbell, Clarke, Collins, Connolly, Daly, Doyle, Dunne, Egan, Fitzgerald, Gallagher, Hughes, Johnson, Kelly, Kennedy, Lynch, McCarthy, McLoughlin, Moore, Murphy, Murray, O’Brien, O’Carroll, O’Connell, O’Connor, O’Doherty, O’Farrell, O’Neill, O’Reilly, O’Sullivan, Quinn, Ryan, Spacey, Smith, Walsh, Wilson [as one]:

Who the fuck is Keith?

Part 3.

Kerry, remembered.

You picked me up from school and peeled out of the lot and that fat bastard of an assistant principal chasing us threatening to call the cops. And we laughed and laughed and thought we’d nearly die. And driving into Ramsey you ran all the lights and past the police station we were very scared and you pegged it at 30 and the cars were honking and trying to pass us but we didn’t care a hoot. Drove all the way upstate and dead north on the thruway and slowly slowly the cars disappeared and it was just us and I pushed the seat all the way back and fell asleep with your hand clasped tight in mine. I woke up and didn’t know where I was. I was alone in the car in a parking lot and it was very cold. The motor was off and the keys were gone and I realized that I was locked in. There were some kind of crazy child locks on my door and I couldn’t open it from the inside and so I just sat there and tried to figure out where we were but I couldn’t see any signs. Just the highway behind me and the very occasional pair of headlights zipping along. I started to shiver and my teeth were chattering and then the car door opened and there you were with Roy Rogers and I was so glad to see you. Afterwards we ate the sandwiches, which were still sort of warm, and the cold french fries, which I always loved, ate them in great handfuls and the salt burned my fingers where the cold had split them.

Part 4.

A song!

Kevin’s knives slice nice snipe twice,

Me oh my but what a spice!

And filigreed so daintily

With lettuce leaves and potpourri,

Oh, Kevin, what a dish!

Nor fowl, beast nor fish!

Oh, Kevin, what a dish…

Untimely #13 - Kevin's Exclusive Including Machine and Question Personaliser

Objective:

The objective of the following process is to enable all individuals to personalise any question asked of them via the enacting of a simple sequence of 5 steps. The following process will be carried out under test conditions employing the given test questions and the test Personalised Name Determinant SAMUEL CHARLES BUTLER

Equipment:

• Questions for Personalisation
• Dictionary
• Personalised Name Determinant
• Alphabet

For the following process the following terms will apply:

Input Question 1 = "What might inclusion mean?"

Input Question 2 = "How can we break down social barriers?"

Input Question 3 = "What might inhibit inclusion?"

Input Question 4 = "How does your practice enhance social inclusion?"

Methodology:

STEP 1: Identify question field for personalisation and objects for personalisation within given field.

e.g.

Verbs or Nouns

i.e.

Active Verbs:

Input Question 1 = Object for personalisation 1 = "mean"

Input Question 2 = Object for personalisation 2 = "break"

Input Question 3 = Object for personalisation 3 = "inhibit"

Input Question 4 = Object for personalisation 4 = "enhance"

STEP 2: Quantify total objects within question field for personalisation to determine personalisation vectors.

e.g.

mean +

break +

inhibit +

enhance = 4

STEP 3: Determine personalisation vectors per input question via Personalised Name Determinant based nominal conversion of total objects for personalisation.

e.g.

Total objects for personalisation  ==> Personalised Name Determinant based nominal conversion ==> personalisation vectors

i.e.

4 ==> (First 4 letters of SAMUEL CHARLES BUTLER) ==> S.A.M.U.

:. 1=S, 2=A, 3=M, 4=U

STEP 4: Convert personalisation vectors into numerical operators via alphanumerical matrix.

e.g.

Numerical Operator 1 = S=19

Numerical Operator 2 = A=1

Numerical Operator 3 = M=13

Numerical Operator 4 = U=21

STEP 5: Input objects for personalisation into dictionary based personalisation logarithm subject to numerical operators to determine personalised question field varient.

e.g.1

Object for personalisation 1 = "mean"

Numerical operator 1 = S = 19

:. 19th verb succeeding "mean" = "mesh"

:. Personalised question field variant 1 = "mesh"

:. Input question 1 = Output question 1 = What might inclusion mesh?

e.g.2

Object for personalisation 1 = "break"

Numerical operator 1 = A = 1

:. 1st verb succeeding "break" = "breakfast"

:. Personalised question field variant 2 = "breakfast"

:. Input question 2 = Output question 2 = How can we breakfast down social barriers?

e.g.3

Object for personalisation 3 = "inhibit"

Numerical operator 3 = M = 13

:. 13th verb succeeding "inhibit" = "insert"

:. Personalised question field variant 3 = "insert"

:. Input question 3 = Output question 3 = What might insert inclusion?

e.g.4

Object for personalisation 4 = "enhance"

Numerical operator 4 = U = 21

:. 21st verb succeeding "enhance" = "ensnare"

:. Personalised question field variant 4 = "ensnare"

:. Input question 1 = Output question 1 = How does your practice ensnare social inclusion?

Results:

Personalised Output Question 1 = What might inclusion mesh?

Personalised Output Question 2 = How can we breakfast down social barriers?

Personalised Output Question 3 = What might insert inclusion?

Personalised Output Question 4 = How does your practice ensnare social inclusion?

Untimely Stimulus #13

In which Untimely finds itself embroiled in: "...an initiative to establish a cross-participatory project between myself, Kerry, and 41 Kevins." 


So, for this issue we are not Untimely but Kevin.


The stimulus is provided by our good friend Kerry. You can find out all about her and the other Kevins here: www.kerrykevin.co.uk.


The stimulus is as follows:

1. What might inclusion mean?
2. How can we break down social barriers?
3. What might inhibit inclusion?
4. How does your practice enhance social inclusion?

Respond!